Thursday, 16 July 2009

Unexpected mass zombie attack

On the way to work this morning I suddenly realised that for the last few minutes I'd been planning how I might escape from an army of the undead if I became surrounded at that location. Now clearly this is absurd - they'd be far more likely to attack a few streets over where there's a graveyard. That said, you can never be sure with zombies so it's best to be prepared.

So here's the scenario:

There's a large open moor area with cows grazing and a path running across it. You're half way along the path, which by this point is running alongside a 10 foot high brick wall on the other side of which grow a number of large trees at random intervals. It's at this juncture that you notice the undead shambling onto the moor area from all sides - naturally only the boundaries that shambling undead are able to walk through/fall over/tear their way through - everywhere except for the brick wall. Stumbling and dismembered as they are you have a couple of minutes before they converge on you. You've got a laptop in a backpack and a long leather jacket.

What do you do?


  1. I'd have my work phone on me, so I'd call a cab, Hi-jack the cab and mow down as many zombies as possible as I make my escape and go to work.

  2. First I would empty my backpack of its laptop and laptop related contence.
    Then I would start to build a Zombie pyramid up against the wall by by preempting the mass approach and running upto individual zombies capturing them in a sling (made from the emptied backpack). When there were enough zombies in the pyramid, i would then climb over them and the wall.
    Remembering not to build the pyramid high enough that the remaining zombies could climb it.

  3. There weren't any really thick branches hanging down to climb on, but I figure some of them were thick enough to support my wait and use like a rope to scale the wall. Now there might be zombies on the other side but I'd be 10 feet up. After that you could walk the length of the wall to get past the mob and jump down.